Buddha Along Side the Road
hey Buddha
as i was going to work
i saw you sittin along the road
so i had to run you over
but the strangest thing happened
on my way back
you were still there
so i did it again
but the next morning
you were still there
so i smiled and drove on by
and then you were gone
Photography is a very spiritual and emotional form of expression. My best photographs have always been those that remind me of how I felt at the time I took the picture, for instance, if it was cold outside, does the picture make me feel my skin shivering. I like to use the camera, and post editing, as a way of capturing the “feeling” of the scene.
The scene for the pictures is a remote spot in the woods alongside a reservoir near my house. I choose to take the picture in the late evening/night (6:30-8:30pm) because of the effect darkness in the woods would have on my senses. Nightime in the woods is very spooky and noisy, I liken it “natures rush hour”. We live with our eyes, and as light is removed we have to begin thinking outside the box (I can’t see the lake, but how can I show people its there?). To further illustrate this face, I made a few notes about my surroundings for 5 minutes:
The three scenes should be viewed in order and are meant to capture the flow of emotions that I felt. That of peace with nature, fear of darkness, and finally appreciation of the beauty of a full moon reflecting on the lake. In addition it symbolizes the progression of our spirit in life: of wonder, fear of the unknown, and finally acceptance.
My first image is “Spirit Trees”. I chose to use this picture because its rather pleasant, and has a spiritual, oneness with nature, feel to it. I used a wide view, mid ISO, 1/3 second shutter speed, and post edited sepia and soft. The purpose of this photo is to capture the role that the trees play on the scene.
My second image is “Spinning Out of Control”. I chose this picture because it captures the emotional feeling of being in the woods as darkness takes over and you no longer have light to make you feel safe. I used a wide view, low ISO, 8 second exposure, and F2.8 aperature. I adjusted the tripod so the camera was pointing up, and then spun the camera in a circle while the shutter was open to give the feeling that the mind is spinning out of control. I softened the edges and shadows in post editing.
My third image is “Full Moon Rising”. I chose to use this picutre because it captures the beauty in the scene, and is meant to portray acceptance, accepting that even in darkness, light can still be found. For this picture I used a wide view, 8 second exposure and F2.8 aperature. I post edited the tint, softened the edges, and increased the brightness and shadows. Had my camera been capable, I would have used a 20-30 second exposure at low ISO.
EDIT: The story behind “Spinning out of control”:
I knew of a place a few miles deep into the woods where I could get some good photos for a college class in photography that I was taking. When I got to the spot, I couldn’t get the photos I wanted so after messing around for a while I decided to hike back to the car. Well, I thought that I would be ok because I had hike on the trail a few times before and understood the lay of the land. However, as the darkness started to fall, things started getting spooky. Emotion brings out the best in any artistic persuit, so I decided to take advantage of this fact and snap a few shots trying to convey the fact that I was starting to lose control.
Well, it started getting really dark and I could hardly see the trail ahead of me. This sounds pretty bad, but I was getting spooked by the squirrels (yes those cute little creatures with the long furry tails). They really freak me out when they start kicking up the leaves right next to you. I started going primal. This in itself is pretty scary because it really brings out the beast inside. I could feel all of the hair sticking up on my skin and my adrenaline was pumping really hard. I hiked through the woods like this for about an hour and it was such a rush.
For those of you interested in primal feelings, look up books on native american spirituality or Tom Brown.
Journal
how i love your pages
waiting to be filled up with adventures
and thoughts and wisdom and emotions
but alas i can not do it
for the pen is mightier then the sword
but i can not put the sword down
and i am left stuck here
admiring your empty pages
“The searcher in the modern world no longer has a clear and pure path to follow and finds in its stead only foggy, vague distortions of the original truths. And so the searcher never fully understands where he or she is going; the successes are few and far between, and the results questionable. The greatest teachers of the spiritual world are still out there, not to be found in dusty books or hidden temples, but in the temples of creation and through vision….. What follows is not a field guide to the spiritual world….(but as) an introduction to the greatest teacher of all – nature, the vision, the Creator”.
“Others in this modern society, feeling the void of material existence, want desperately to believe in the magical world of spirit. In a way, their searching adds a certain mystical existence to their lives…. They search out endless religions, gurus, and philosophies. They play with crystals, meditation, songs, chants, ceremonies. They reach toward the customs and traditions of cultures other than their own mixing and matching, hoping to create out of it some personal religion or philosophy. But in the modern era, where results are immediate, people are rarely willing to dedicate the concentrated amounts of time and energy to just one path. They get bored quickly with anything that requires time and dedication. They want to be instant gurus, shamans, and healers, without paying the price…. When their quick fixes do not pan out, they are abandoned or lost, and the people once again return the their desperate searching”
“They had forced their religion upon the people, and though this religion held many truths spoken, rarely did the whites live the truths they espoused. Their black robes might speak of peace and love, but their lives were struggles of greed, power, and war.”
“Grandfather said that there were only two types of people in the world, critics and doers…. Doers are the people that the critics criticize, because they are the ones doing. With doing there is living. Doers are the people who make change, who never criticize, because they are too busy doing.”
“I had been looking forward to exploring the lower swamps, and now the whole day was wasted, boring, and rather debilitation. I lacked energy and drive to do anything and chose to lie down and bemoan my imprisonment…. I decided to try to change my debilitation perception and to look at it as an adventure and a challenge…… I found that there was no such thing as a good or bad day; there is only kind of day we choose to look at.”
“We learned through the teachings of Grandfather and through survival, that we have within us a primitive self-a self that could be called upon for insight, or for power in a time of need. This is a basic self that all beings carry within; a primal self closest in kin to the spirit-that-moves-in-all-things. We learned that the only thing standing in the way of this inner primal self was logical thinking and the restriction of the society we lived in.”
“Animals, like humans, make in life the mistakes that will ultimately lead the their death, either physically or on a spiritual and emotional level, as with this deer. People and animals that stay on the same paths in life will eventually wear themselves into ruts-a complacency to life born of the false security, comfort, and monotony of that path. Soon the ruts become so deep that they can no longer see over the sides. They see neither danger nor beauty, only the path before them, nor do they abandon that path so often traveled, for fear of losing their security and entering the land of the unknown.”
“He had stressed the use of the old customs, traditions, and ceremonies, and stressed following them precisely. Now he was contradicting himself….. He smiled “Custom, tradition, and ceremony are but tools for a spiritual path. Once learned they are used to make your own path. The only danger would be for those who did not learn the use of the tools fully and tried to walk a spiritual path. They would be thrashing aimlessly in the dark and eventually hurt themselves and others. That is the trouble with this modern world; everyone wants things too fast without taking the time to learn the tools before setting out on his or her journey. Anyone who has the tools and follows the paths of others will only meet a dead end and pain.”
“Grandfather had often described what he perceived as the plight of modern society, a society decieved by its shallowness into confusing material acquisition with fulfillment and yet in turn frustrated by its haunting sens of lack. There is a spiritual world beyond the fleshly existence of modern man, a wold of the unseen and the eternal, a world that most people never really understand or seek to know. Certainly, he said, there were the meager attempts by modern man to reach this spiritual world, but at best, they were superficial, all too complicated with customs and traditions that no longer seemed to work. Most of modern society has lost its ability to see beyond the flesh and the logical thinking, which is its guiding force. Yet society so desperately seeks fulfillment outside the realms of that superficial flesh. It seemed to Grandfather that after man acquired the comforts of flesh and the heights of learning, he is then left lost and searching for more to life. He acquires more and more of the false gods of the flesh and mind, and he soon finds that the acquisitions of the flesh can give him no more. He seeks wilder forms of entertainment and toys, and nothing fulfills his most desperate yearnings or the emptiness inside of him.
In desperation he searches for a deeper meaning to life, but there are no answers. In frustration, he turns to drugs, alcohol, or sins of the flesh to quench his pain. Some end with killing themselves. Others realize that there must be more but do not know where to find it. Religions spring up, and philosophies that are only but a Band aid. Nothing really works for him. Modern man then grasps for straws, following anyone or anything that point the way to enlightenment, or playing with any spiritual toy that brings relief. In the end, non of these things will ever quench his inner fires of searching and loneliness. Even his children at an early age are realizing the futility of it all, feeling that there must be more for them than theoretical knowledge and owning. He is lost, desperate, and destined to live out his existence in exile from what life is all about, marking time and awaiting death to free him.
Grandfather felt that somewhere in man’s ancient history society lost its communication with the spiritual world and with the spirit-that0moves-in-all-things, the life force. Grandfather knew that man was a duality, part logical and physical, but mostly spiritual. The problem is that man has concentrated on mostly developing the logical mind, while allowing the spiritual consciousness to atrophy. Grandfather felt that man found it difficult to deal in the realms of the spirit and south the logical, as it was more provable, probable, and less work. This pursuit of the logical then followed mankind through the centuries and into modern times, where now he believes only in things manifest in science and knows nothing based on faith. Thus logical man began to persecute and eradicate all who dealt in the spiritual, considering them pagans, insane, or lunatics. The spiritual way of life interfered with man’s science and explanation, and showed the shallowness of society’s meager attempts at being religious.”
“Trying creates impossibilities, letting go creates what is desired….You believe that penetrating the veil is impossible, because that is what you have been told to believe. You have created that reality based on other people’s beliefs that there can be no world of spirit. Somehow, you think that it must be difficult to enter this realm and that you must suffer and try hard to get there. This then is what you have created. But when you have absolute faith, learn to let go completely and purely, then, and only the, will you touch the veil.”
Grandfather stressed the Vision Quest as being as equal in importance to our survival path as survival training, awareness, and asceticism. The Vision Quest was held in the highest reverence as the ultimate sacrifice of self. Indeed, the quest was more important than any other spiritual sacrifice, but it could not stand alone. Nevertheless, the Vision Quest did what could not be done with asceticism alone. It answered the deepest spiritual questions, directed our lives, and helped us transcend the realms of the flesh to the purity of spirit. The quest was the ultimate self-denial, requiring us to fast from all things familiar, including rational through. It was a “little death” that sacrificed the self for the wisdom of the grander things of life and spirit.
I’ve been reading several Buddhism and meditation books recently. I’ve noticed though, that I’ve been put off by book from/about Tibetan Buddhism. Unfortunately, this comprises a large section of my local libraries section, including those by HH Dali Lama. The books read very dogmatically, and mystically for that matter. When I’m reading the books they talk about such things as rebirth very “matter of factly”. For a skeptical westerner as myself, it really breaks the flow of the book, and in a way makes me question the credibility/sanity of the author.
I know this sounds like a pretty harsh thing to say, but I’m just being aloud and honest with my thoughts here. I have the utmost respect and admiration for Tibetan Buddhists, especially involving thier plight with the Chinese Govt. But from a philosophical standpoint, it seems to do me no good to check these books out.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch?r
For some reason this article really struck a chord. I think it has to do with my recent recurring bout of the”Recurring Existential Crisis Virus” or RECV. Being an introvert, this crisis naturally happens quite often. Fortunately, to a certain degree, I actually look forward to having an RECV and I’ve even found my trigger mechanism (reading religous or philosophical books) that causes (or cures) my RECV.
So, in a way,I look forward to RECV because it gives me a bit of a high. What is great though, is that this is the first time I’ve linked my introversion to my frequent bouts of RECV. I think if I had a deeper understanding of this ego-introversion-RECV link, then I could greater requlate it and avoid the deep lows that come along with the great highs.
About 10 years ago, I left the Jehovah’s Witnesses for good. I was pretty well convinced that all churches were bad. The only religion I had much faith in was Buddhism at the time, and that was more on a philosophical level. So why the change in heart? Well I wanted to be a member of some organization that offered the following:
So what organization did I finally join? The Unitarian Universalists, in particular the Church of the Larger Fellowship (since the nearest UU group is about 35 minutes drive. I would have never thought that such a group existed, let alone a group that calls themselves a religion / church. Although I don’t consider it a church or a religion in the modern sense.
Some of the facts that attracted me to join the UU’s:
In my previous post, I decided to perform a rite of a vision quest. Like everything, and true to my roots, I need to devise a plan for my vision quest. Some things that I need to contemplate: when? where? how long? what should I bring? what should I do?
When, The Schedule:
Where, The Place:
What, The Quest:
These last couple of weeks I’ve really immersed myself in buddhist, meditative, and mindfulness studies. In particular studies on the subconscious mind, the ego, and general buddhist studies. This whole ego thing just has me in a tailspin. I am very open minded and usually comprehend quickly, but its just like the whole thing doesn’t make sense (at times, and depending on what kind of mood I’m in).
I was in such a whirl today that I could feel my anger and frustration level rising so I cleaned up and went for a bike ride to distract my mind. It seems to have done the trick, but now I’m afraid to pick up my studies again. I keep taking a dualist approach to this, and that just doesn’t work. Its like one day I get it and my mind feels calm, then I gradually wind up, then I begin to calm down, then I get angry and irritated about it.
What does seem to make sense more and more and more is that I’ve never gone on a vision quest / retreat of sorts, to be still and contemplate all this without distraction. Backpacking used to give me focus and help me reconnect with nature, and since I quit backpacking 5 yrs ago, I feel sort of displaced. I just cant get over the selfish feelings of leaving my family for 2-3 days every so often. Before I started backpacking and even while I was a bper, I’ve always contemplated going on a visions quest of self-discovery. I like to think that this can be done internally, but it just doesn’t seem to work. I think I need to work out a plan…..
You may notice something very interesting when you slow down. As you experience more space in you mind, there is more distance between you and your emotional reactions. You may still react out of habit, but these reactions don’t really have their hooks in you. You may react out of attachment, for example, wihout feeling very attached, or you may say something aggressive without really feeling the emotion of aggression. Seeing this is the beginning of being able to separate you true nature from your habits.
It’s important to know that these emotional reactions are not who we really are. They come from learned social conventions, from what we’ve been taught to value and how we’ve been taught to react. For instance, someone cuts you off on the highway and you find yourself reacting aggressively, the way you’ve seen others do. You might even be surprised by the intensity of your reaction. In moments like this, try to slow down and reflect on your reactions. You may find them to be at odds with the way you would naturally respond.
Many habitual tendencies spring from seeds of a past we can’t even trace. They lie dormant in the alaya consciousness until they’re activated by particular causes and conditions – at which point we find ourselves reacting with attachment, jualousy, insecurity, or aggression. Regardless of where they come from, we must learn to disassociate ourselves from neurotic habitual tendencies. This doesn’t mean nnot responding to things; it means bringing awareness to our reactions. Seeing that they are neither permanent nor solid, we can relate to them in a way that is intelligent and beneficial.
Emotions can only overtake us when we are unaware of them……..But labeling our emotions as terrible or wrong has a puritanical slant. It implies that they should never occur, that we should be as pure and enlightened as a buddha…. Thy instead to work wihg your mind in a way that is more mature and in accord with practice….. The difference between not reacting and suppressing reactions lies in awarness. The key is to maintain awareness of the nature of the reaction, as well as its expression.
